I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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