the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize