If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
