Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
