after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
