i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
