I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
