I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
