woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just googled if crying burns calories
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
