the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
