Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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