she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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