So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
