You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
