they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
