I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
