So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
