Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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