Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just want nice things and good sex
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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