Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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