3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
