How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
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