For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
