You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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