he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
