You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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