oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Soap is not a condiment
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
