i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal