Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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