so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
