i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
