If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
