i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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