Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
