i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Two words: blizzard sex
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
