Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
