Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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