It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
