grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
