See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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