How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
