i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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