I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
