I want to walk on stilts...naked
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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