i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize