I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
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