it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
