woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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