So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
