Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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