I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
