Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
and you fell through a lawn chair
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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