Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
