Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize