My boss' voice literally gives me gas
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
