So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
