I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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