i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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