the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
