..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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