Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
