I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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