just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
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this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
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If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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